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Blog Entrance 1
Mood: ..Not bad, really
I suppose the past few days have gone quite well, really. Things aren't perfect and I'm having trouble getting rid of certain thoughts/feelings, but when I consider my circumstances, things are looking quite promising.
The day before yesterday I had my audition for the music course I want at Lewes College (Pre-Pro Course in Music, if anyone cares). I went there and sat the two exams, then having about an hour to wait until my actual performance part of the audition. I went and sat up in the common room area. Within five minutes I was talking to some girl (Hannah, I think her name was) and some of her friends (Another Peter, and a guy who everyone called Shakey). What an atmosphere! They introduced me to loads of people they knew and took me on a tour of the performing arts department of the college. They were all soon-to-be second year students (like I would have been if I continued at Park College), and I was just there for an audition, yet everyone was really chatty and friendly, all the same. I'm very excited about starting there in September, and I hope I manage to meet that lot then, too. Oh, and I then had the performance, which went very well. I got a letter through this-morning saying I had been accepted onto the course.
The next day I had my interview for Lewes. That went fine, and he said they didn't even need to have given me one, since I'd already done a year in Park. So basically, they will let me in. That's good news.
I also have my Grade 8 in six days now. I need a distinction although I'm expecting to hit a merit. It doesn't bother me, since I can retake it in November sometime. That'll give me a chance to brush up on my Sight Reading and Aural, and perhaps the Intermezzo.
Outside of academic stuff, my life hasn't been all that interesting lately. I've been trying to get a Poker game going sometime but nobody seems to find the time or the cash to do so. Havn't been up town much lately either, again, because most people have no money. So I've just been meeting up with Sam and Sarah lately, although Sarah's gone away for a few days, so I havn't been seing her. Spoken to her though, and she's having fun, which I'm glad to hear.
Well, that's me done for now.
Blog Thread #2
What a day...
After all this talk about death, it's quite ironic. A kid I've known since junior school, about 7 years ago, was hospitalized last night at about 1am. He was drink driving.. He's lost an arm and a leg, has severe brain damage, and may not live. I've never been very close to him, but we've always been on good terms. A friend of mine was close, and it's been a depressing evening up the pub trying to sort him out. It's sad. He was a decent kid, and had a great future ahead of him. Now, even if he lives, he hasn't got loads going for him.
Sad day.
soapy
07-07-2006, 11:44 PM
Sorry to hear that. That's why as a rule I don't discuss morbid topics. :/
Thanks, you two.
Blog Entrance Three
I'm happier again now, after my short surge of depression a few nights ago. Apologies to anyone who caught me on MSN or on SEMO at that time, I was probably quite an arse to most people! Things aren't any better, really (and actually things with my ex are probably worse), but things aren't affecting me much anymore. Which is good.
Last night was an excellent night. I met up with Sarah (Yeah, like most nights!), and we decided to eat out at an Indian Restaurant. It was originally just the two of us, but Sam decided to tag along too, and we literally bumped into Chris on the way there, who also decided to join. It was a fun meal, although we didn't order enough rice with our curries! After that we went up town for a bit and had a few drinks in the Townhouse. Sarah didn't want to stay out too late though because she was working the next morning, so I decided to bus home with her so that she didn't have to go home alone. Sam came with me too and Chris went home.
On the way back we stopped off for coffee at Sam's. With Sarah in an... 'energetic'...mood and me in a happy mood, it was a fun cup of coffee. Except for when I found a spider on my leg and started jumping around trying to make it fall off, anyway. After coffee, me and Sarah headed off home; I walked her back and then went home to bed.
Today has just been... a normal day. Went to the gym with Sam, and also made use of the swimming pool and sauna room. I've done some piano practise for my Grade 8 on Wednesday, and that's pretty much it. Was going to see if Sarah wanted to meet up, but then realised the final was on. I doubt she'd be too impressed if I suggested she missed that. I havn't got anything to do tonight, so I'll probably just spent it at home.
Blog Entrance Four
Mood: Excellent!
Wow, I've been pretty busy these past few days and I'm now in a great mood! Let's see...
Wednesday - I had my Grade 8 on Wednesday. I played my pieces very well, my scales were alright, sight reading wasn't bad, and aural was... awful. I actually asked her to skip right past one part of the aural tests because I was so terrible at it. I'm not fussed; I'll have passed, even if I have to retake to get the distinction. In the evening Sarah and Dan came round, followed by a brief visit by Sam.
Thursday - I had my first induction day for my Pre-Pro Course in Muisc. It was excellent! I got to know the names of everyone in the group, got used to the (fun) sort of work we'd be doing, and all in all, was a great day.
Friday - What a day! By our lunch break, I was on very good terms with Sarah, Rosie, and Tom and we decided to head up the pub. We had a round or two before heading back to college and attempted to sing. That was... interesting. We got everyones number before we all went home, and we decided that we'd have to meet up and crash round somebody's house before college starts in September, so if it happens, that will be fun.
To celebrate a good few days (or to just make a good evening), I saw Sarah, Chris, Sam, Lindsey (for a while), and Jamie (very briefly) at my house. Me and Chris ended up very drunk, and everyone else just sat around and joined in with the convo. I also remember walking to Tesco at one point and I'm still trying to work out what on earth I bought, and what time I got home. It was fun, though!
Saturday - So, it's now Saturday morning. I havn't got anything planned for today since I was supposed to be seeing Jenny, but it turned out she had work and had to bail out. I might go up the Gym since I'm really overdue in going (was too worn out after Lewes College to go). I'll get some piano in at some point, too. Oh yeah, and the Sarah I met at Lewes (not my good mate Sarah!) is really good on the piano! It was great watching her play, along with the other instrumentalists etc.
Great few days! :)
Kaibigan
07-16-2006, 10:44 AM
Glad to hear you've had a great week. I've actually been unproductive these past few days..
Blog Entrance Five
Mood: Pretty good!
So, Tuesday was fun. I saw my three new mates from Lewes (Sarah, Rosie and Tom) and they all crashed around mine. Long stories short, we had fun! We went up to the Marina for a few drinks first and then had a few more back at my place. We soon decided to finish off our drinks oustide so we walked up to the beach. We had some great conversations and really got to know each other up there, although by the walk home the two girls were completely out of it. There was a video of the walk home that was quite amusing, but I can't attach that file type and I'm too lazy to upload it. So nevermind. When we got back we were all up for a few more hours... that is after the two girls decided to be sick. Lovely.
The next day, I took Rosie to the station while Tom and Sarah stayed round mine. I got back and then Tom went to pick some money around his while I walked into town with Sarah. We had a decent convo on the way there, and then after a few more hours, she got the train back and me and Tom both went home.
Apart from that, I havn't done a lot. Piano, piano piano. Seen Sarah (My other friend Sarah, who lives down the road). Done Piano. Seen Sam. More Piano... that's about it.
Should be going up the pub tonight, although I don't know who with. I told Chris I'd go up the pub with him, but I also told Tom that I'd go up the pub with him, so I don't know where I'll end up going. As for now though, I'm off to the gym!
Jared
07-21-2006, 12:59 PM
Good to hear you've been having a good time! :D
Phew, just got back from the gym and I'm worn out! I saw Jamie down there too and caught up with him briefly. It was the first time I'd seen him in months and it was good speaking. Told him we'd have to catch up properly sometime.
And thanks, Jared! The last week or so has indeed been quite fun! :)
Blog Entrance Six
Mood: Good!
I'm back! I've been away from this place for a good week or two now. My internet connection had gone bust until yesterday, and from thursday to sunday I was away with my old man and my half sisters, who I hadn't seen in a good year or so.
I had a great time. On thursday I was at my dads place and me and him just sat up drinking and talking until early morning. The next day it turned out we were going over to Caroline's (his ex whom he had his daughters with) boat with my three half sisters. Let's see...
Friday - We had all arrived by about 4:00. We took a few hours relaxing and then we went up to the pub to have a few drinks. It wasn't great there and we soon went back to the boat. Most people kicked in early, so it was me and Lizzie up on deck drinking. I've never really spoken to her a lot before this trip. Me and Vicky (my oldest half sister at 15) have always been close and seemed to be drawn together more than me with the other two. However, because she was here with her bloke, she wasn't around us as much, and it gave me and Lizzie (who is only 13) to talk properly. It turns out me and her get on great too, and she really seems much older than she is. It was great getting to know her and I enjoyed the evening.
The next day was more of the same and in the evening we went up to the pub. I started talking to a girl there and after a while we decided to wander off. We carried on chatting but it turned out she had a bloke! But nevermind. Small chance I might run into her again, and hopefully she'll have ditched her guy by then (who, by the way, sounds like a bastard).
After that me and Lizzie went back to the boat. We started talking about Colin, and we went off "to the toilets" so we could talk more privately. I told her about what me and Vicky had done to Colin a few years ago; stealing his documents and readying a case against him to the CSA, which we never actually did in the end.
Sunday morning I went home. Having been away from five days (I was at my grandmothers before the trip) my mum was relieved to see me home. I saw Sam, Lindsey and Adam a few hours after I got back and we played a little poker. In the evening Sam popped around again and him and my mum watched Prison Break with me.
Today, I have little lined up. I'm off into town for coffee with my mum at some point, and I also have a driving lesson. I expect I'll just take it easy the rest of the day, having spent most of last week with way too much alcohol and not nearly enough sleep. I'm pretty exhausted. It was a fun week though, but much to your relief, I'm back now! My fondest welcome goes to all of the (many) new members since my last visit, too!
Fareru
08-14-2006, 02:39 PM
Welcome back then ^^
Glad to see you had a good time, sounds like fun at least :p
...So I just jumped into a pond? I've been commando-ing it for the past four hours. Have a driving lesson in another three, and am still out of it. That should be interesting.
migglie
08-22-2006, 11:22 PM
You ought to post just to confirm that you haven't been labelled insane and banged up. ;)
I'm still alive, everyone! My internet has been broken for quite a while now and I'm now on a temporary 56k AOL free trial, so I might be able to get on here once in a while (but maybe not). Just letting you all know I'm not dead! ;)
I'm alive!! And a bit drunk. Speaking to my ex on MSN now, she really doesn't wanna know. Dunno what the fuck is up with her, but despite the fact that I feeel 100% over her, it sorta hurst to know she doesn't want a conversation. Meh. Hope everybody at SEMO is doing okay, and with any luck, I'll join the community again soon.
Take care everyone!
insertnamehere
09-18-2006, 11:56 PM
Gotta love the drunk talk try talking to her again when your not drunk dude maybe that's why she doesn't want to talk. Well glad your still alive hope to see you soon.
Chris
09-19-2006, 12:03 AM
Ditto INH. Women are mysterious creatures. I'm so glad I'll never marry one.
It seems her life has hit rock bottom again... I finally got her talkng again. She seemed to avoid getting right into the root of her problems, but it was still a kmessed up convo. She's sad, adn although I don't care for her as a relation anymore, it hurts to know she is still unahppy. But who cares, really... I'm still drunk and have gotta enjoy it. Why, I have to be up in 6 more hours. That should be fun! :p
Edit: Oh, and despite being straight, I'd have to agree with Chris there. :s Go on MSN bore, btw!
Blog Entrance 7
Evening, anyone and everyone. I don't really post here anymore, but I'm looking for a place to vent in the hopes that it might help me calm down a little. You never know, it just might work.
Alright, things are odd. For the past.. half a year odd, up until about a month ago, I seemed to be pretty happy. I wasn't working too well (but not too badly) for most of it and was just meeting new people, enjoying time with friends, and drinking/clubbing/drugging, whatever... you know.
But this past month, I've actually been pretty depressed. I've put in lots of work in college and with the piano, and I've got some good results. It's gone noticed by my tutors and everyone else. Definately. But I don't really give a shit. I haven't seen my friends as much.
Sam, one of my closest mates jumped right from a shitty shitty relationship and is now with another bird. Sarah is still with that cunt. I don't mind that they have relationships, of course not, and I understand they need to see their significant others. But things aren't so simple.
This Sarah thing: she's been "depressed" these past few months, so she never calls me. Never sees me... or anyone else. Which I don't get. I saw her nearly every day for the best part of a year, and suddenly she just doesn't bother with anyone, except, as far as I can make out, her boyfriend. Who is, by the way, a cunt. A dealer, a jailbird, a violent, irresponsible, dangerous, cheating cunt. And if anybody is bothering to read this, I've had strong feelings for Sarah ever since I've met her. Should I have made a move all that time ago? Probably, but I didn't... and that's how it is. I now just value her friendship more than anything else... although it doesn't exist anymore. Not right now, anyway. And it hurts.
That, coupled with the fact that my other best mate, Sam, is hardly around because of his girfriend or his work (or his other work), means I'm pretty lonely. I've seen Adam a bit more lately, and he's an alright guy now he's off the green. But it's not the same. For months, it would be me, Sarah, Sam and Adam around my house, every evening. We'd have a few beers, watch TV, and talk for hours. Now, that just doesn't happen.
It feels like everyone wants to go off and have a fucking relationship. I feel like I'm the only bloke of seventeen/eighteen that doesn't want to get hitched at this age. I like being single, I like being able to play around a little bit. Not that doing that interests me anymore... it doesn't make anyone less lonely. But I like being single. Although I feel like I should go out and find the right girl and hook up with her just so I'm not so damn lonely, because I'm sure as hell not seeing my friends anymore.
I'm seeing my mate from London, Kes, next week though, with any luck. That'll be good. And all these people from Lewes, most of them I don't really give a fuck about. I'm very fond about some of them, but they all live far away, so I never see them outside college except on rare occasions. So I'm pretty alone. It's my routine these days to just sit around at home, listening to music, trying to pass my worthless time. I've been reading a lot and watching a lot of TV to try and forget about my own life, which at the moment, is pretty shit.
I know, my problems aren't bad. Nobody's dead, nobody's dying. As pathetic as I feel admitting it, I'm depressed. And I don't really know what to do about it. If anyone has anything to comment on, feel free. But if they don't, and I won't be surprised if they don't (I'm not really expecting any of you to bother reading this, anyway. I don't even know half the community anymore), I won't mind. Oh, the joys of the Christmas season, eh?
Jared
12-29-2006, 07:42 AM
Ah, Pete. As much as I try to understand what you are going through, there are things I cannot, but from your description I can definitely see how negative they are.
I haven't lost many friends to dumb things, but I have a few, and it is very stupid. I wouldn't know how to tell you to fix it, so I'm not going to offer any advice because I couldn't help myself.
Depression doesn't have to happen only when circumstances are absolutely horrible; the combination of workload and things not going as you would want them to certainly spurs such a feeling.
At any rate, I do sincerely hope that things begin to clear up soon, or that you find some kind of solution that works for you. I'm sorry to hear you're having problems lately, but I know that you'll get over them, just stick in there bud!
Thanks for the post, mate. I'm in a more clear-minded state of mind again now, the one which I'm in most of the time. Just once every day or two I let my current feelings get the better of me and I get pretty angry and low about things, which evidently happened last night. But nevermind! :)
Jared
12-29-2006, 02:32 PM
Thanks for the post, mate. I'm in a more clear-minded state of mind again now, the one which I'm in most of the time. Just once every day or two I let my current feelings get the better of me and I get pretty angry and low about things, which evidently happened last night. But nevermind! :)
Hey hey, I totally understand that. :D I used to do that much too often, it isn't particularly fun to deal with. It definitely hurt my life last year but eventually I some how overcame it all, thank God.
Yeah, I read about your troubles in your coming out thread, if that's what you're referring to? I was going to leave a little comment but never got around to it, so while it's in mind, I'll do it now!
Jared
12-29-2006, 02:45 PM
Yep, that is the bulk of what I was talking about. Hard times, but really for no reason; I had nothing to fear in the end, and really I created most of the trouble for myself.
I wouldn't take it back though, because I'd like to think I'm a much stronger person because of it. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... I pretty much fully believe in that.
Blog Entrace 8
Just recording this somewhere so I don't forget it. I had a dream last night and for some reason I feel like it holds some significance, although I couldn't say how. So umm, yeah. Here goes:
Some kids were causing some sort of trouble in my area. I can't remember any details, nor were they that important. One of them (I knew who it was in my dream but can't remember now) had managed to pick up a gun and had murdered somebody, and was now patrolling the streets with his friend (Surreal setting. Always evening, nobody else around. No police involvment. Whatever). It was evening and for some reason, someone in the flat block opposite me had asked me to go and kill the guy with the gun. I was with my mate Adam in the dream, and once we located the two people, he ran off scared. I panicked and started running madly. The next thing I knew, I was in a different scenario completely.
I was now in town running around when I literally bumped into my friend Sarah. In real life, by the way, I haven't seen her in ages and ages. Anyway, we got talking, and I had apparently completely forgotten about what had just taken place. We hugged and said how we had missed each other since we last saw each other. For some reason I remember her making a little joke about my beard. I dunno, just friendly stuff. I was so happy in the dream. Then I woke up and remembered I hadn't seen her in at least a month. Then I was sad for a little while!
And if anybody bothered reading, if you want to know, I called Sarah a little while afterwards. I met up with her earlier on tonight and it was just like old times, almost. Except she left earlier than she used to. That felt really odd... but nevermind. It was good seeing her.
Erm, I had a similar dream last night. At least the beginnings of it were similar...There have been many times where I've seen an old face in a dream and upon waking wanted so desperately to see them...but most of those people are out of reach. Its good that your dream actually caused you to go into action and call your friend. Good on you man. :)
I agree. It's always good to keep in touch friends and try to reconnect with friends you've been away from for a while.
Blog Entrance 9
For some reason I feel like blogging; I don't know why, but who cares? I decided to continue keeping count of my entrances, omitting those of which have been short or were written under the influence of this or that. So that's basically half of the blog forgotten. But whatever. ;)
Not a bad few days. I enjoyed Friday and it seemed to be a "special" day, even though very little out of the ordinary happened. I got the train in with the usual lot; Tash, Katie, Christina and Heather, and had a laugh as usual. Of course, train journies aren't exactly the best things in the world, but they're pretty entertaining when you're with a few friends. So it wasn't bad.
College was alright. Saw quite a few people on and off, and sat for most of the day with Hannah and a girl who I'd never met before. Also showed Nat, a girl I know who's joining the college in September, where to go for her interview at one point. I didn't really want to meet with her, but I told her beforehand I would. Trained back with a guy called Kim, Hannah, and Niel. Picked up Hannah's number. Got off at Eastbourne and then saw Sarah on the bus on the way back. We had a laugh actually, and it was a cool journey home. Why I remember all of this in such detail, I don't know...
Saw my mate Adam afterwards and we went to the gym. We then showered got ready to go out, and after a few beers at my place we ended up at a "battle of the bands" sort of thing, featuring a band with a guy from my college and a guy from my old school. I only expected to see a few people from college there and I only really went to try and briefly run into the girl I'm attracted to that goes there (not my friend Sarah). It turns out I saw her quite a bit throughout the evening. She was very pissed and was in a great mood for most of it, which was cool to see. Although I'm sure it'll just be a nautious blur to her, I'll have a lot to wind her up about on Monday. She looked incredible though. Wow! But anyway, I also ran into loads of friends from school! Half of our old year was there, and it was really odd seeing everybody there! At about 1, some of us went to Sky bar for a few more drinks and staggered home fairly merry at about 2:30.
So, yeah, it was a good night. I'm now wondering if I was overly flirty with the girl I'm into. But I know I wouldn't have been OTT, since I'm not like that, and my mate said that it was noticeable but nothing distasteful, so that's good. Honestly, it's a pain in the arse being attracted to somebody.. you worry about shit like that. But on a more certain note, I probably shouldn't have been trying so feverently to get people to join me and my mate for narcotics so that we didn't have to pay so much. I wouldn't want anybody to think I was really into that stuff. *Ashamed face*
Apart from that, not done a lot this weekend. Injured myself at the gym last Thursday so I haven't been able to do a lot. I ran 2km odd today and now my muscles are pulled even worse, but I couldn't resist some physical exercise. I've steam roomed a lot too, which is always relaxing. I'm finally getting to grips with some of these Hirigana too... for some reason, I'm learning Japanese, since I'm quite interested in the culture. It's hard, but I'm enjoying it!
So, that's me done for now! ;)
Blog Entrance 10
Fucking dreams again. I've been dreaming very vividly these past few weeks (see entrance #8) and last night was no different. Here goes:
It was a normal day at college. We were sitting in the common room with a group of people, talking and flirting, being a bit touchy.. normal stuff. After a while she was suddenly cold to me in the same way that she was, in real life, cold to a guy she doesn't like a few days ago when I was with her. I woke up at this point and I remember being very sad at this point, although my alarm hadn't woken me up so I soon fell asleep again.
I had another dream which pretty much continued where it left off. We were at college again and suddenly disco lights appeared, a DJ jumped out of nowhere, and turned the common room into a dance floor. Everyone started partying and I saw the girl I'm after in the same clothes she was wearing when I saw her a few nights ago... last Friday, I think it was. Except as soon as she saw me in this dream, she walked away from me. Or something like that. I again woke up, rinse and repeat the sadness, then me and her were standing outside some important-looking building alone. She was once again cold to me. I woke up one final time at this point
Actually, I had several other odd dreams about other people last night, but they were the ones that rang out loudest upon awakening. And for some reason, awakening was very painful; I woke up extremely depressed and unmotivated. In fact, I was so unmotivated that I couldn't get out of bed. I was so appalled by the idea of stepping out of the door and having to see people that I fell asleep after this and awoke five hours later after a dreamless sleep. Of course, I missed an important college event but I'm generally on-top of the work, so I'm sure it won't be the end of the world.
I'm going crazy trying to work out why I woke up so sad. Alright, so I'm a little annoyed that I don't see anything happening between me and her; I'm sad that I still don't see my friends as much; I'm sad that I never see Sarah anymore, but things surely aren't that bad. I'm trying to realise what I need to do to regain peace of mind again, but I'm not having much luck so far.
Political correctness and the idiotic policies of our government are also irking me a lot lately. If I could be arsed, I'd rant on them. But I'll save that for some other time. I wonder who'd even listen to the political rantings of a 17 year old, anyway?
Blog Entrance 11
Whoo, hungover. Was at a house party last night and didn't sleep at all. Got the train back from Hastings at about 9am earlier today and have been in bed most of the day since. I drank loads, actually. There got to a point when I was just doing shot after shot just for the sheer hell of it. But that's not important.
So, the girl I've been into got completely wankered and ended up hooking up with some prick. I have no idea if they'll even see each other again, but obviously I'm pretty annoyed at that anyway, especially considering it's pretty rare that I'm seriously attracted to someone in the first place. But in a way, it's nice. I feel like I've been shot down without even having to do anything, so I also feel like I could "move on" from my attraction now, which would at least mean I have one less worry on my chest.
Was going to play poker tonight, but as usual Sam's not around. So I'm guessing he's with his girl. Can't be bothered to get anyone else without him, since I was hoping for an evening with my mates. Shit happens though, as they say.
Chris
01-26-2007, 09:46 PM
Wow... Have you always been this angry or has there been a lot of recent troubles? I haven't really been following your blog much (or anyone's for that matter) so apologies for that. I hope your problems improve soon.
No worries, I don't really expect people to read this thing anyway. I wouldn't call it anger though, it's generally more sadness. But in regards to your question, I haven't been all that happy for a few months because of... well, everything in my recent blog threads since around October/November, I figure. Thanks for the post, Chris. :)
Oh, and I've also just made an observation. I would have thought I'd have learnt from my mistakes, but I guess not. As in, when I first met my friend Sarah I may have had a small chance of something happening if I'd made my feelings known. I didn't take it though, so now, that chance is gone. I liked this next girl, and I never took the chance to make something happen. And I'm now feeling that my chance with her is gone too. Moral of the story? Take chances and learn from your mistakes...
Blog Entrance 12
Mood: Awesome again.
Well, after a few months of being pretty unstable I've managed to get myself back on track again. Ever since Saturday I've been in good spirits once more, and even though it's only been a few days, I feel like my old self again. I'll save all the emotional crap and just give a quick run down of my time.
Saturday evening I went out to play pool with Sam up the David Lloyds. Sunday I stayed around the house because it was my mum's birthday. Monday evening I saw Sarah and Sam; it was just like old times. Last night I saw my mate, and tonight I've been round Jemma's for dinner and been recovering from my mid-morning/afternoon drinking session up the pub. Oh, and met some girl at the pub earlier who's apparently gone to my college for months and I've just never met her. Odd. Funny story time, actually...
I'd just left the pub with just about enough time to get to the station and make it back to Eastbourne for work. Despite all the beer, I managed to make it on the train in time. Awesome. Now everything was going fine... until I woke up in St Leonards Warriors Square. Now, for the record, that's eight stops -- or an hour -- past Eastbourne. So I jumped off the train as soon as I realised where I was and hopped onto one going back along the Victoria line. No sooner had I hopped on when the ticket man came. I told him the truth, that I slept past my stop, and lo and behold, he didn't fine me! Anyway, I finally arrived back in Eastbourne and made it to work... two hours late. Great stuff! :thumbs:
Sometime between all this lot, I've been up the gym loads. I've hit some decent heights. I'm feeling a few gains at the moment which is pretty cool, and I'm going to give Creatine a shot. On the CV side, I ran 4.76km in 30 minutes exactly, which isn't too bad. Not good, but an addition of about .20km since my run 3 days before that. And if none of you knew, nothing makes me feel more alive than working out. So that was brilliant. I haven't gone the past few days though since my mate punched me in the chest when we were messing around, although he didn't plan to actually injure me like he has. :p
Alright, I expect none of that was all too coherent. I haven't even read through it again, but whatever. I just wanted to get all this down in writing somewhere, so voila. :)
Blog Entrance 13
Mood: Good, but...
In six days I'm running a half marathon that I'm not ready for.
In eight days I'm taking a driving test that I'm not ready for.
This should be an interesting week! :)
Blog Entrance 14
Mood: Pretty good.
It's been a while since I've blogged and I'd like to write a little bit about the past month or two so that I can remember it after my dreadful memory forgets it all...
Gotten pretty close to Emma these past two months (girl who I met at the pub in my 12th blog entrance). We've gone out for plenty of drinks and done other things together, and since the start of our easter break last week she's spent pretty much every night around mine and has hardly gone home. So after a few beers last night, I decided to ask her if she wanted to "make things official". So I guess I'm with her properly now. It's not bad; she's a nice girl so I'll see how it goes.
Let's see... I failed my driving test! I indicated the wrong way on a roundabout. Nerves, I guess. I've got something wrong with my leg so I can't run at the moment (so I've been riding instead for CV work), and I've upped my creatine dosage to 2x a day. It seems to be helping. Oh, and performed my play on the 29th March. I was the lead in Brecht's "Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui". After 12 hour rehearsal sessions all that week, it finally came together as a competent performance. Which was awesome. And... that's about it since last time.
Ronito
04-11-2007, 12:37 AM
Awesome job on the play. I love it when things like that come together. Congrats.
Queen_Garnet
04-17-2007, 07:59 AM
Awesome work on the play!! I'm sure you enjoyed the success after all the hard work!! And I'm happy to know that everything is going great with you and Emma!! :D
migglie
04-18-2007, 11:17 PM
Sounds like a tough part, I never was involved myself but I'm pretty sure I saw that play once...quite heavygoing but enjoyable. Ditto with the relationship congratulations, seems like you've got it right. I'd like to know your secret! And as regards the driving test, the randomness of the whole farce is pretty disturbing. Considering that once you've passed, all these little errors that merit a fail are overlooked, it seems so unbelievable that the instructors are literally watching out for any opportunity to fail you on one of them. Anyway, hope that leg gets better...what's wrong with it?
Thanks for the replies, you three. It's nice to know that people still want to occasionally read and comment here, despite the fact that I'm pretty much an inactive member these days. :)
Oh, and I'm not too sure what's wrong with my leg. I got given some exercises by my doctor to help correct it (it hurt to put a lot of weight on my leg) and I think it's starting to get better.
My leg's been acting up as of late as well. Mainly at the knee joint. I'm waiting for it to pop out soon! :D
Blog Entrance Fifteen
I feel like shit... but in a good way! :) A mate of mine is down from London for a few days, so last night me and him went out clubbing with my girlfriend of two months and two others we knew. The three of us got back to mine at about 4am and had lots of food and went to bed. I'm then up five hours later feeling pretty bad; I'm not helped by the fact that I did an enormous workout yesterday and am aching terribly. The fact that I'm playing piano to a large audience in another five hours doesn't make me feel too brilliant either! But it was a good night, so I'm happy. :)
Other than that, not much is new in my life. I'm in college still but now have no idea what to do with myself. I enjoy playing piano immensely but I'd like to take a more active stance in helping a community and working physically and mentally towards helping others. I've pondered with volunteering as a crew member of the RNLI, becoming a special constable for a volunteer period and also toyed with the ideas of full-time careers in the police, fire service, army... the list goes on. I'm blocked from some of these pathways because of my pacemaker though, but some are still possibles.
It's a funny time to blog, but my mate is still asleep and I'm up trying to make sure I'm sober and well for later. It's actually working a little, too. I hope everything is well with my SEMO buddies that I no longer visit. Take care, all of you! :)
Till next time,
Pete ;)
Queen_Garnet
05-20-2007, 12:54 PM
That's a lot of things to do Pete in one day, but I guess it's fine since you enjoyed it and it made you feel happy although it was tiring in a way.
Wow, you did a lot of things as a volunteer which is good. Shows how a good guy you are ^_^
We've been fine Pete although most of us are not active as we used to because of school and finals (some of us summer course), but it's been great. I wish you all the best in your studying and good luck in choosing the suitable major for you and you may try to relax a little bit and take it easy!!
Take care Pete and hope to read some new updates soon :)
Blog Entrance Sixteen
Went out clubbing last night with Emma, Chris and a few others. T'was pretty good, although we had to leave at 2 because Emma started feeling rough. But at least we got a few hours sleep before we had to get up, I figure.
I've done my AS exams! Okay, so it was the second time around, but... let's ignore that minor detail. I'm pleased with how they went and I should get my desired grades, allowing me to finish off my A2's next year if I can bear college for another year. The college actually expects me to attend for another month before we break up, but there's absolutely no point in doing so; we're supposedly beginning A2 work in this period, but all of my subjects have readily admitted that they have no intention of doing any such thing. So I'm going to have a nice long summer break!
I've rekindled my love of piano over this last week, ever since I had a practise session in which I actually felt some decent progress afterwards; I haven't stopped playing ever since. I'm currently learning Chopin's 3rd Nocturne in B Major, Liszt's Leibestraum and Mozart's 3rd Piano Sonata in Bb Major. All great pieces.
Me and Emma? It's been bang on two months today, apparently, having been a couple now from the 11th April to the 11th June. I always feel obligated to mention her in brief, so I just thought I'd share that (not that I dislike mentioning her, of course. It's going good, I think. :)).
Pete
Queen_Garnet
06-12-2007, 12:49 AM
Glad that you found you a girl Pete ;) I'm happy to know that everything is going good between you and hopefully it will always be like that :)
Great news about your grades and piano!! Now you can truly enjoy your summer break and party whenever you like. (That's what I'm looking forward to after Wednesday exam :D)
Blog Entrance Seventeen
It's a Friday night and I have nothing to do, but I wouldn't mind such boredom if I didn't miss Emma like hell tonight. I've only known her half a year but she's already a big part of my life; I'd like to think me and her will last at least another six months, but we'll see. She's out with some mates in Seaford (we never see each other on Fridays due to work arrangements the next morning) but I really wish she was here. I wouldn't mind her absence so much if I was out with mates too, but when I'm alone and bored, my paranoid/depressive side kicks in. And I hate it. Lots.
My college sent me a nice angry letter for not attending the period after the exams, which I still maintain would have been a waste of my time. So if I wish to return there next year (which I'm on the fence about) then I'll have to write a letter up asking for them to consider me as a potentially strong A2 student. I dunno, I hate college, but I probably should get some A-Levels behind me. Part of me wants to jump into a career now, but what am I qualified for? Shit all, and I don't fancy taking an unskilled job on a minimum wage salary for the next fifty years. I don't have a clue what to do at the moment in regards to my future, and no matter how much I think, nothing gets decided.
I'm also still very decided on travelling. Japan in particular, but Russia, parts of Europe, America and Canada also draw me to them (and Barbados is a must). But they need money, and I can't get that money until I make a career jump of some sort.
Had a few good days over in North London last weekend. Went to a few bars in Holloway, Archway, East Finchley and Angel. We were going to go clubbing in Central, but Tiger Tiger didn't seem like such a good idea after that Mercedes was found outside it. :( Also went to Oxford Street for a while, but I didn't buy much. Lots of stuff happened between me and Emma over my absence in London, but it strengthened my relationship with her as a result. But I'll write a story about that another time when I'm bored. Did I mention I miss her tonight?
Pete out. Fond regards to all of you. :)
Chris
07-06-2007, 11:56 PM
Nice to hear from you, Pete.
I really recommend you finish your A levels. There's so many people getting A levels and going to university right now so the competition for jobs is harsh and what you said could end up being the case. It's only a year and it's not worth mucking your career up for. Have you considered university at all? It's more of a blast academically and socially, in my opinion.
Great to hear of your travel plans. Would you go with someone or alone and meet people while there? Are you working during the summer? If so, would that be enough to afford a trip at least to Europe?
I think I probably will stick college out; like you say, it is only a year. I just can't stop thinking if I hadn't dropped out last year, I would already be finishing them now! I've thought about moving onto Uni afterwards and I really dislike the idea, but I can't exactly place a reason for such animosity. I think I'm just eager to start earning a full-time salary. But then I remember that with a degree behind me, I'd be earning more in the long run. Hmph, it's a nasty choice...
I'd do a bit of both, in regards to travelling. I'd travel to some places with people (I expect I'd do some of Europe with Emma if I was still with her, and I'd take a quite break to Barbados with a couple of friends if it was possible), but I'd like to tour other places alone, Japan and Russia being in this list. I have a very odd idea that my life will somehow make just a little more sense once I've seen more of the world, but there is little logic grounding my theory.
But enough about me. How are you, Chris? I haven't spoken to anyone here in ages... I'm surprised I even remember who you all are! :o
Blog Entrance Eighteen
Back from a night out cut short, I'm a little merry and a little mashed; I also want to write. Life isn't too bad, but that isn't stopping me from being horribly depressed. What's "wrong"? Not much.
My mum is really low, has been for a while. All I know is that parts of her past are coming back to haunt her a lot lately, and this seems to be affecting her deeply. Hardly an hour goes past without her bursting into tears or something like that.
Then, I'm having to deal with a problem my friend has. I won't even mention this online since he's asked me to complete secrecy on this, but all I will say is that it's a terrible problem that I'm lucky never to have had to deal with before. But it's messing me up a treat.
Last but not least, (in fact, this is what gets to me most), my girlfriend. I'm really close to her. I love spending time with her, I love being with her, and I love her. But quite often when I'm not with her I'll either miss her or feel envious/annoyed that she is with other people or doing other things but spending time with me. Completely unreasonable on my behalf I know, but I can't seem to rid myself of these feelings. I also get a nice dose of paranoia every time she goes clubbing (like tonight), and often expect her to be hooking up with other lads behind my back, even though in my more rational moments I sincerely doubt she would do such a thing. And no, I have the sense not to tell her any of these thoughts, since she would most likely get hurt over my mistrust. It's not that, though; I think I'm just so worried about losing her. It's only been about seven months, but she's a big part of my life.
Anything else? My wirsts are still agony, if I mentioned that in my last post. No working out or playing the piano for me as a result, so I've just been easing up on all my commitments and letting my abilities drift away from me until they heal up again. I probably should go see a doctor. Being able to do those two things again might make me feel a bit more wholesome again. Then again, not being so damned paranoid about my girlfriend might have the same again.
Pete out.
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